EQUALITY!

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

I was a weeping, snotty, emotional mess on Friday when the Supreme Court's ruling was announced. It was a day -- like so many of those I know and love -- never dreamed would happen in our lifetimes. The ruling was an exclamation point to all that I've written about for so many years in my books and essays, and to my life -- our lives -- in general.

There is so much to say. And I am writing about it in longer form. But, in brief:

On Friday, when a friend texted us the news, I ran down from my writing studio, weeping, uncontrollably, yelling for Gary. I grabbed him and held him, and we moved as one heap toward the TV to turn on the breaking news. I couldn't comprehend it at first. Had I hoped this would happen? Yes. Did I feel it would happen? Yes? But did it seem real? After all these years? No.

We fell as a ball onto the couch, and I grabbed Gary's face.

"I don't know what to do when you cry like this?" Gary said.

See, I'm supposed to be the strong one, the logical one. But he's really the rock.

I stared at him, seeing our 20 years together flash before my eyes, our lives now defined as Before 6/26 and Post 6/26. How manny battles had we waged to get to this point?

"Stop crying," Gary begged. "Please."

I couldn't.

Gary and I on our wedding day, 2014


I wept for the many friends who didn't make it to see this day, too many of whom took their own lives because they had been rejected.

I thought of my mom, the strongest person of faith I've ever known, who told me how proud she was of me and Gary every day, and how -- before she died -- said my faith shined through in every way and every day since I had "come into love and the light."

Yes, this is about love, but it's also about equality. Next year, Gary and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary. We were married one year ago in California. And we will renew our vows in Michigan. For years, we paid separate taxes. For years, we paid tremendous legal bills to ensure that we were each other's "family" and "guardian." What would happen, an attorney asked us years back when I was traveling on book tours, should you be injured and hospitalized? Gary likely would not be allowed to visit.

Equal? How is this right?

We fought. For years. No, our whole lives. We were bullied. We were taunted. We were rejected. Sometimes in terms of ignorance, often in terms of faith.

I no longer care what people think, because they do not speak for me, or know me. I knew from the earliest of ages I was born gay. I hurt and lied to more people than I can ever apologize to in my attempt to be "normal". Gary and I both attempted suicide.

The importance of Friday's ruling cannot be overstated. Now, no child will be born without knowing that he or she has equal rights, can grow to marry who they love and choose, without being isolated, hated, scared. Will discrimination still occur? Of course. Will hatred still rear its head? Yes.

But now everything has changed.

I have heard rumblings of all the hate chatter after the ruling, but it's on my periphery, buzzing as softly as a mosquito in my ear.

I no longer pay attention to what people say or think if they are not willing to talk, change, learn, grow, evolve.

I have been ostracized too many years from life, from faith. How would you feel if you had to hide who you are, or who you loved? How would you feel if you couldn't hold hands, or sit too close to someone at a restaurant, or invite them to a work function, or put his or her picture on your desk? Much less live through the dark years of state laws being passed "defining" what a "real" marriage is? Would you have survived?

My LGBT brothers and sisters are among the strongest people I know. When you are beaten down, and are still able to succeed, find happiness, thrive in careers, believe in God, find love, then you are heroic. You know true faith. You know true happiness.

So, talk all you want. I've heard it before. I am not to be tolerated, like a rainy day, or a cold sore. I am to be celebrated. We all are, gay or straight, black or white, married or single. We are all survivors. We are all one. We are all more alike than different.

And together we can change the world. And we have. And we will. One day, one word, at a time.

34 Comments:

Blogger Kate Fischer said...

I understand. At first, I didn't. I apoligize now for my ignorance, but before I understood, I just thought, well if they can't be officially married ewhy can't they just live together and love each other and be happy? Then, all the rights that I have and take for granted, but that were denied to unmarried gay couples were pointed out to me. Then I understood. And you and Gary have now made me feel it personally. Thank you.

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After 3 Years in a relationship with my Boyfriend, my Boyfriend started going out with other girls and showing me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to broke-up with me if I dare question him about his affair with other girls, I was totally devastated and confused until an old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet DR GREAT who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love Spells, At first I doubted If such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, When I contact him, he told me everything I needed to do and I did and he helped me cast a Love Spell and within 28Hours my boyfriend came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with girls and he is with me for good and for real. Contact this Great spell Caster for your relationship or marriage problem. 
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September 10, 2019 at 6:55 PM  
Blogger Karla Dawson said...

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After 3 Years in a relationship with my Boyfriend, my Boyfriend started going out with other girls and showing me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to broke-up with me if I dare question him about his affair with other girls, I was totally devastated and confused until an old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet DR GREAT who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love Spells, At first I doubted If such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, When I contact him, he told me everything I needed to do and I did and he helped me cast a Love Spell and within 28Hours my boyfriend came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with girls and he is with me for good and for real. Contact this Great spell Caster for your relationship or marriage problem. 
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September 13, 2019 at 1:55 PM  
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October 10, 2019 at 8:53 AM  
Blogger Olivia Jayden said...

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October 10, 2019 at 11:14 AM  
Blogger Olivia Jayden said...

HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF REAL AND EFFECTIVE SPELL FROM DR Osasu My name is Olivia Jayden, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster called Dr. Osasu , She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 48hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle,i couldn't conceive but as soon as the spell was cast,i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child,if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via:email: drosasu25@gmail.com Or WhatsApp or call him now:
+2347064365391 . Dr.Osasu also cures: 1. HIV / AIDS 2. HERPES 1/2 3. CANCER 4. ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) 5. Hepatitis B

October 10, 2019 at 11:15 AM  
Blogger Karla Dawson said...

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After 3 Years in a relationship with my Boyfriend, my Boyfriend started going out with other girls and showing me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to broke-up with me if I dare question him about his affair with other girls, I was totally devastated and confused until an old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet DR GREAT who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love Spells, At first I doubted If such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, When I contact him, he told me everything I needed to do and I did and he helped me cast a Love Spell and within 28Hours my boyfriend came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with girls and he is with me for good and for real. Contact this Great spell Caster for your relationship or marriage problem. 
Here's his contact..

CALL/WHATSAPP: +2348118829899

EMAIL: infinitylovespell@gmail.com  OR  infinitylovespell@yahoo.com 

WEBSITE: http://infinitylovespell.website2.me/ 

October 14, 2019 at 9:50 PM  
Blogger Karla Dawson said...

PROFESSIONAL SPELL CASTER WHO CAN HELP YOU WITH LOVE-SPELL TO GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK URGENTLY AFTER BREAKUP/DIVORCE EVEN IF YOUR SITUATION SEEMS HOPELESS! CONTACT: INFINITYLOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM IS CERTAINLY THE BEST SPELL CASTER ONLINE AND HIS RESULT IS 100% GUARANTEE.. 

After 3 Years in a relationship with my Boyfriend, my Boyfriend started going out with other girls and showing me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to broke-up with me if I dare question him about his affair with other girls, I was totally devastated and confused until an old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet DR GREAT who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love Spells, At first I doubted If such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, When I contact him, he told me everything I needed to do and I did and he helped me cast a Love Spell and within 28Hours my boyfriend came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with girls and he is with me for good and for real. Contact this Great spell Caster for your relationship or marriage problem. 
Here's his contact..

CALL/WHATSAPP: +2348118829899

EMAIL: infinitylovespell@gmail.com  OR  infinitylovespell@yahoo.com 

WEBSITE: http://infinitylovespell.website2.me/ 

October 14, 2019 at 9:50 PM  
Blogger hucho ben said...

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October 15, 2019 at 9:02 PM  
Blogger hucho ben said...

my name is Carol Bennie it was a greatest surprise to me that i was cured from herpes virus by a powerful herbal doctor, it was just like a dream to me i taught that their is no cure for herpes because for about six years i spent so much of my money in hospital but no improvement i was confuse in life until a friend of mine introduce me to this herbal doctor i contacted him if their can be any help and he promise to help me, he prepared a herbal medicine for me i followed his instruction after 14 days i went to hospital for test but i was cured it was a greatest surprise to me so i decide to share this testimony. a very big thanks to this herbal doctor who save my life, please if you have this kind of sickness or any disease do not give up you can contact Dr Iyoha his website: https://driyohasolutiontemple.weebly.com or whatsapp : +254755681540

October 15, 2019 at 9:04 PM  
Blogger Alexander derrick said...



DR NANA KWUKU BONSAM GAVE ME TOTAL HAPPINESS.
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JOHN WOOD FROM UK.

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October 24, 2019 at 1:18 AM  
Blogger Alexis scorpio From FL Usa said...

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November 8, 2019 at 6:38 AM  
Blogger Kallya said...

Hello my name is Kallya from USA i want to tell the world about the great and mighty spell caster called Priest Ade my husband was cheating on me and no longer committed to me and our kids when i asked him what the problem was he told me he has fell out of love for me and wanted a divorce i was so heart broken i cried all day and night but he left home i was looking for something online when i saw an article how the great and powerful Priest Ade have helped so many in similar situation like mine he email address was there so i sent him an email telling him about my problem he told me he shall return back to me within 24hrs i did everything he asked me to do the nest day to my greatest surprise my husband came back home and was crying and begging for me to forgive and accept him back he can also help you contact
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November 10, 2019 at 5:48 AM  
Blogger Kallya said...

Hello my name is Kallya from USA i want to tell the world about the great and mighty spell caster called Priest Ade my husband was cheating on me and no longer committed to me and our kids when i asked him what the problem was he told me he has fell out of love for me and wanted a divorce i was so heart broken i cried all day and night but he left home i was looking for something online when i saw an article how the great and powerful Priest Ade have helped so many in similar situation like mine he email address was there so i sent him an email telling him about my problem he told me he shall return back to me within 24hrs i did everything he asked me to do the nest day to my greatest surprise my husband came back home and was crying and begging for me to forgive and accept him back he can also help you contact
ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com

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Blog: https://priestade.blogspot.com

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November 10, 2019 at 5:48 AM  
Blogger OO said...

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Blogger OO said...

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November 13, 2019 at 12:10 AM  
Blogger OO said...

Now You Can Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection… Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless! My husband said he no longer loved me at the end of January this year and i was hurt and heart broken i felt like my life was about to end and I almost committed suicide, I was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr OSCAR DILAN, which I meet online, on one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet and I came across a lot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, cure cancer and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. I also come across one particular testimony and it was about a woman called Tracey Hilton, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr OSCAR DILAN mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try and I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48 hours, my husband came back to me and we solved our issues, we are even happier than before. Dr OSCAR DILAN is really a gifted man and I will not stop testifying about him because he is a wonderful man and so powerful... If you have any problem and you are looking for solution to solve all your problems. Great Dr OSCAR DILAN can also offer any types of help like Reuniting of marriage and relationship, Curing of all types of Diseases, Court Cases, Pregnancy Spell, Spiritual protection,winning of lottery and lot's more. you can contact him on Email: oscardilan68@yahoo.com OR oscardilan68@hotmail.com OR oscardilan68@gmail.com .... YOU CAN USE ANY OF THE EMAILS....... YOU CAN ALSO ADD HIM UP ON WHATSAPP USING THIS MOBILE NUMBER:+2348077526136, if you have any problem contact him, I give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.

November 13, 2019 at 12:12 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I am very happy today with my family. My name is rose sarah living in USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.life a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email drlifetemple@gmail.com… Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without steress.. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email (drlifetemple@gmail.com) or contact him on his whatsapp mobile line +2347010538590

November 15, 2019 at 8:31 PM  

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