On Hate, And Love: How I Stay Strong in the Face of Discrimination

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

A decade ago in 2004, I was alive for the first time in my life.

It wasn't only that I had come out and fallen in love a few years earlier, it was that I had finally come into my own.

I was writing what would become my first memoir, America's Boy. I was running marathons. I was blissfully, beautifully happy, in a Rouse Renaissance if you will, a new age of enlightenment.

And then came the dark.

I was living in St. Louis, and Missouri became the first state to enact a constitutional prohibition on gay weddings after the Massachusetts high court permitted gay marriage there. The measure was approved by 70 percent of the state's voters.

It was during that time I began to not only feel ostracized from my country but also from my faith. I felt I didn't belong, be it church, or work, or restaurants.

I entered a dark place. Gary and I made rash decisions, including ones to quit our jobs and move to Michigan.

Fast forward a decade: In spite of all the progress in our country, I found myself revisiting that nasty place recently, in light of the anti-gay legislation in Arizona and Kansas. I felt like I had growing up gay in the Ozarks: Dirty. An outcast. Unwanted.

Yes, I could rant. I could rage. I could simply laugh off the fact that it's so ridiculous that people feel it's OK to discriminate based on their religious beliefs – to hate – but it gets harder and harder.

(And, by the way, can atheists choose not to serve customers with crosses around their necks? Or pregnant women with no rings on their fingers? Can Catholics refuse Jews?)

But instead I only hear the words of my mother and grandmothers:

"People will always need someone to hate. It's all they have."



They told me this because they, at one point in their lives, experienced discrimination.

My Grandma Shipman was a Native American who married a white man.

My mother was a driven academic overachiever who, as a nurse, often challenged a doctor's orders or thinking.

My Grandma Rouse fought to allow and welcome the less fortunate, the "unworthy" and "unwanted" into her church, despite what people thought and said. At various points in their lives, each of these women was either spit on, refused service, fired, asked to leave a public place, yelled at, hated.

And they forged ahead, survived, inspired, because they always needed someone to love. It's all they had. It's all they knew. 

"You are 'different,'" they would tell me. "You need to hear our stories."



I am thankful I listened to these women – around pink Formica dining tables, red gliders overlooking a creek, in innertubes and lawn chairs and the backs of pickup trucks – because their voices now keep me sane, balanced, hopeful, inspired and enveloped in love. 

Because of them, I know the hardest battles come before the biggest victories and that it is a miracle when you are blessed enough to come from a place of such love and acceptance that it not only changes you but that, one ripple, one person, one day at a time, it also changes the world. 

47 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing the lessons from your mother and grandmothers,as well as your own.
They were/are right. You are right.
Love is the anly answer.
~ Imagine ~

February 25, 2014 at 8:10 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

February 25, 2014 at 8:10 PM  
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[email protected]

whatsapp him {+2348124644470}

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November 1, 2018 at 2:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Hello, I am Ledan Mini After being in relationship with Anderson for years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4 pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem. email: {[email protected] }

[email protected]

whatsapp him {+2348124644470}

https://supernaturalspell1.blogspot.com/

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November 8, 2019 at 8:54 AM  
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or
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346










i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address [email protected] have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: [email protected]
or
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346





December 14, 2019 at 12:49 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

i want to let the world know about Dr, Ojoka the Great spell caster that brought back my husband to me when i thought all hope was lost. Dr, Ojoka used his powerful spell to put a smile on my face by bringing back my man with his spell, at first i thought i was dreaming when my husband came back to me on his knees begging me to forgive him and accept him back and ever since then he loves me more than i ever expected so i made a vow to my self that i will let the World know about Dr, Ojoka because he is a God on earth. Do you have problems in your relationship ? have your partner broke up with you and you still love and want him back ? Do you have problem with your finance ? or do you need help of any kind then contact Dr, Ojoka today for i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you just as he helped me. Dr, Ojoka email is: dr.ojokas[email protected] OR add him on whats app via: +2348144172934

January 4, 2020 at 6:32 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I am so happy to share this fantastic testimony of mine. My life has changed round completely in 48hours. I can see myself in the mirror and smile. I have confidence in myself and my abilities for the first time in ages. I have my boyfriend back in my life with the help of Dr Oniha. He said sorry in 24hours after the spell was created. He said he realized that he never really wanted to break up, he could not handle emotional baggage I was carrying around all the time. He said that he thought he was the negative influence on my life and thought it best to leave. He said it was hard that I kept talking about the past all the time. We have both forgiven each other. I have money in my pocket that is my own at last. (My compensation cheque came through I was told it was months away. I am living proof of what Dr Oniha can do. I thank you so much Dr Oniha for the wonderful thing you did in my relationship. I am so happy now. With your help we were both able to see and speak the truth to each other. I never thought a spell could help a couple before I am very pleased contacting you and initiated all this to happen. Anyone who have a relationship problem can contact Dr Oniha via email ONIH[email protected]. Or his whats-app number +1(505) 633-6879

January 9, 2020 at 2:42 PM  
Blogger Rita Natasha said...

This is the website I read about Doctor Benson and contacted him to help me get my ex boyfriend back to marry me during the month of December last year and I have come back here to post about him. Doctor Benson will help you solve your problem no matter what you are going through. Posting about a spell caster is very strange to me because I never believed i will be able to say that I was helped by a spell caster in bringing my ex boyfriend back to me after 3 years of no contact. I read about his voodoo spell from other websites and contacted him to help me and in less than 48 hours my ex boyfriend called me and I was happy that he wants to get back to me. We met on Friday and he proposed to me,... It was the most beautiful ring. Please everyone out here, Contact Doctor to solve your problem for you and make you happy with your relationship that is hurting you. Love is the best feeling ever experienced. Email him at dr[email protected] or WhatsApp number:+2348141972381.

January 14, 2020 at 5:30 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY SPELL [email protected]. COM OR WHATSAPP HIM :+2348144172934  
My husband left me for a younger woman and I was devastated. It was as if she had him under an evil spell, Paul turned against me overnight without any warning. It happened last year, I was desperate so I used every single spell casting website that I could find with no results. A friend sent me the link to Dr. Ojoka site and I contacted him. He started working with me on June. As a result from all of his wonderful work, my man and I are back together. I’m so happy and privileged to have such a great person like you on my side. Thank you! Ojoka contact d[email protected] .com or whats app him +2348144172934    
check his website http://Drojokaspelltemple.website2.me 











EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY SPELL [email protected]. COM OR WHATSAPP HIM :+2348144172934  
My husband left me for a younger woman and I was devastated. It was as if she had him under an evil spell, Paul turned against me overnight without any warning. It happened last year, I was desperate so I used every single spell casting website that I could find with no results. A friend sent me the link to Dr. Ojoka site and I contacted him. He started working with me on June. As a result from all of his wonderful work, my man and I are back together. I’m so happy and privileged to have such a great person like you on my side. Thank you! Ojoka contact d[email protected] .com or whats app him +2348144172934    
check his website http://Drojokaspelltemple.website2.me 

January 17, 2020 at 7:30 AM  
Blogger Bianca said...

When I found Dr. OKISIN I was desperate in need of bringing my ex lover back. He left me for another woman. It happened so fast and I had no say in the situation at all. He just dumped me after 3 years with no explanation. I contact Dr. OKISIN through his Whats app number +2348109374702  and He told me me what i need to do before he can help me and i did what he told me to, after i provided what he wanted, he cast a love spell to help us get back together. Shortly after he did his spell, my boyfriend started texting me again and felt horrible for what he just put me through. He said that I was the most important person in his life and he knows that now. We moved in together and he was more open to me than before and then he started spending more time with me than before. Ever since Dr. OKISIN helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before. I highly recommends Dr. OKISIN to anyone in need of help. Email: dr.okisinsol[email protected] Call him or add him on whatsapp via: +2348109374702  ..

February 22, 2020 at 4:49 AM  
Blogger Toshia Cook said...

Love spell doctor has brought my husband back to me after 6 months of separation. My husband left me and wanted a divorce because of a young girl who is young enough to be her daughter. Your love spell has reunited my family once again after mourning and tears that I am now a single mom, but my teas has turn to Joy with your amazing return lover spell. I am grateful for everything. Anyone experiencing heartbreak and needs their lover back should contact [email protected]. com and that will be the end of your problems in that relationship.

March 3, 2020 at 2:57 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...


شركة تنظيف الامارات

شركة تنظيف دبي شركة نظافة بدبي
شركة تنظيف كنب دبي بالبخار تنظيف كنب دبي بالبخار
شركة غسيل سجاد بدبي غسيل سجاد دبي
شركة تنظيف في ابوظبي شركات تنظيف ابوظبي
شركة تنظيف منازل فى العين شركة تنظيف منازل العين
شركات تنظيف كنب في ابوظبي شركات تنظيف كنب ابوظبي

April 6, 2020 at 1:13 PM  
Blogger Nancy Hawkins said...

I am here to give my testimony about chief dr lucky who helped me in my life, i want to inform the public how i was cured from herpes simplex virus by chief dr lucky, i visited different hospital but they gave me list of drugs like Famvir, Zovirax, and Valtrex which is very expensive to treat the symptoms and never cured me. I was browsing through the Internet searching for remedy on herpes and i saw comment of people talking about how chief dr lucky cured them. when i contacted him he gave me hope and send a Herbal medicine to me that i took and it seriously worked for me, am a free person now without problem, my herpes result came out negative. I pray for you chief dr lucky am cured you can also get your self cured my friends if you really need my doctor help, you can reach him now.
Email: [email protected]  Call or What's App +2348132777335  
Website :  http://chiefdrluckysolutionhome.website2.me/ 

April 29, 2020 at 6:29 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

POWERFUL LOVE SPELLS AND LOST LOVE SPELLS TO BRING BACK LOST LOVER +2348118829899 USA, UK, FRANCE, CANADA, AUSTRALIA, NETHERLANDS, AUSTRIA, BELGIUM, IRELAND.

I've gotten back with my ex boyfriend with the help of Dr.Great the best spell caster online and i highly recommends Dr.Great to anyone in need of help!.. I want to testify of how i got back my boyfriend after he breakup with me, we have been together for 3 years, recently i found out my boyfriend was having an affair with another Girl, when i confronted him, it led to quarrels and he finally broke up with me, i tried all i could to get him back but all to no avail until i saw a post in a relationship forum about a spell caster who helps people get back their lost love through Love spell, at first i doubted it but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this spell caster via his email, and he told me what to do and i did it, Then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my boyfriend really called me and told me that he miss me so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day, with lots of love and joy, and he apologized for his mistake, and for the pain he caused me. Then from that day, our relationship was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to DR.GREAT. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the Internet that Dr.Great real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: [email protected] or [email protected], you can also call him or add him on WhatsApp: +2348118829899 check out his  blog http://infinitylovespell1.blogspot.com you can also visit my blog at http://donnakelvin150.over-blog.com, THANKS TO DR.GREAT..  

May 8, 2020 at 4:57 AM  
Blogger janny crocket said...

Ever since my husband got me divorced for the past 2 years, i v'e not been my self. I was reviewing some post of how i could get back my husband then, i saw a testimony shared by Marina Choas from SWEDEN about a spell caster named Dr. tunde. I contacted Marina Chaos to confirm about how Dr. tunde helped her and she clarified everything to me of how he helped her and that gave me the courage to get in touch with Dr. tunde for help. Dr. tunde assured me that my days of sorrows will be over within 48hours after he has finished with his work. I followed his instructions he gave to me because i had the believe, faith, hope and trust in him. Verily i say to you today that i and my husband are back together and i can proudly say and testify to the world of what Dr. tunde did for me. Contact him today via E-mail:([email protected]) OR call him or whatsapp him +2348143581382 if you seek his help. Also specialize in treating all kinds of illness, HERPES VIRUS, HEPATITIS B, CANCER, BRAIN DISEASE, INFERTILITY, DIABETES AND MORE

May 10, 2020 at 12:19 PM  
Blogger Amber Perez said...

DR. GREAT IS THE BEST SPELL CASTER ONLINE WHO RESTORED MY BROKEN RELATIONSHIP AND I HIGHLY RECOMMENDS DR. GREAT TO ANYONE IN NEED OF HELP! 

My husband left me for another woman 3 months ago and ever since then my life have been filled with pains sorrow and heart break because he was my first love whom i have spent my entire life with. A friend of mine told me he saw some testimonies of a spell caster called Dr Great that he can bring back lover within some few days, i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, she consulted the great spell caster on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after 2 days my husband called me for the very first time after three months that he is missing me and that he is so sorry for every thing he made me went through.He came back to me and now we are happy together. I still can’t believe it, because it highly unbelievable. Thank you Dr.Great for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for any one who might need the help of this great spell caster here is the email address:

[email protected]  or  [email protected]

you can also call him or add him on Whats-app:+2348118829899 

View his blog  http://infinitylovespell1.blogspot.com

May 18, 2020 at 11:06 PM  
Blogger Tracy Matt said...

Save Your Marriage and Get Your Ex Lover Back Permanently No Matter Why He Left” Dr.unity is a true and real Psychics He brought back my ex husband.
My husband left me for another woman, This was just 2 years of our marriage. The most painful thing is that I was pregnant with our second baby. I wanted him back. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster called dr unity, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before 11 hours. He cast the spell and surprisingly 11 hours later my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to him. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to dr unity . if you are here and your Lover is turning you down, or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.Unity for help now..Here his contact, WhatsApp him: +2348055361568 {or} Email him at: Unityspell[email protected] ,his website:https://unityspells.blogspot.com .

July 31, 2020 at 6:57 PM  
Blogger kate said...

What could i have done if not for Priest ALUYA who restore my marriage and bring peace to my home, i will forever be grateful to you Priest ALUYA, My husband left for anther woman, he left me with our three children, i was confused and heart broken i almost lost one of my son in the processes i discus with a friend of mine and she told me about Priest ALUYA, and how he helped her in the past, so i contact him for help, and he promised me that after two day that my husband is going to call me and Apologize me for forgiveness i really didn’t believe, he told me what to do and i did every thing he asked me to do, after two day my phone rang and to my greatest surprise it was my husband he started begging me to forgive him for every thing he made me pass through, so i forgave him and now we are living happily again i say all thanks to Priest ALUYA, here is his contacts if you are passing through any marital stress i will advice you to contact him for solution, and i promise you all your problem will be solved.
([email protected] or whatsapp...+2347037326472

February 15, 2022 at 6:54 PM  
Blogger rukky said...

Life has been so miserable after my boyfriend broke up with me 4 months ago. I never thought he could hurt me just like that then i realized how much i loved my boyfriend when he ended our relationship and i had to look for options to make sure i get him back to myself because i wasn't living fine anymore. I was directed to a Spell Doctor known as Dr udo by my cousin who he claimed he helped him in winning a lottery. I made contact with the Doctor and i was surprised and amazed when my boyfriend came back to me with he knees on the floor pleading to me for forgiveness to take he back as my lover. I thought i was dreaming because all this happened just within 24 hours and it happened as the spell Doctor as said. For that wonderful encounter with this man, i took a decision on my path that i will let the world know about Dr udo for he's able and capable to solve any problems. Get in touch with him email : [email protected] bless Dr udo you can also add him on Whats-app: +234 7042731673

February 21, 2022 at 2:49 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

My husband and I have been married for about 7 years now, We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone. He started coming home late from work, he hardly cared about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the Internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Osita can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he did a spell for me. Two days later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promised never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. My family and I are living together happily again.. All thanks to Osita. If you need a spell caster that can cast a spell that truly works, I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you. You can email him: ([email protected]) or WhatsApp him (+15088120454) web_site: http://drositamiraclespell.website2.me

February 24, 2022 at 12:15 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I've been searching for help on how to get my ex lover back that broke up with me years ago.. I was traumatized by the break up and nearly wanted to commit suicide but I thank God that I got the contact of Dr Ikpeajie the spiritual father that helped me to get back my ex lover after much searching of help from different places. When I got in touch with Dr Ikpeajie, I explained everything to him to he gave me his words of encouragement and told me that he was going to prepare a spell for me that will help me get back my ex lover within 48 hours and I believed in his words for I was referred to him by a friend who he helped and right now, my ex lover is back and we are living happily together to get married next month. If you need any assistance whatsoever like getting cured from sickness/diseases, getting pregnant E.T.C. Then, I suggest that you get in touch with Dr Ikpeajie now through his WhatsApp him on Email:[email protected] or whatsapp :+254778109549 I'm forever grateful to you.

February 25, 2022 at 4:02 AM  
Blogger Kelly Ann Flores said...

I have never given a testimonial like this before, but for any doubters, let me tell you Dr. Todd is the REAL DEAL! His work, time and advice are invaluable. I only wish I had found him sooner in my life!! I contacted Dr. Todd regarding a lost love. I was pretty much a mess and willing to try anything to get this man back. After my initial consultation with Dr. Todd, I moved forward with the work he recommended. Even though he was very forthright by saying the chances of our reconciliation were very slim, I felt I had to at least try and it was worth the cost for his services. He stayed with me every step of the way, any time I had a question or concern, he replied back to my emails usually within hours. The work we did was to heal myself and not as focused on him, which now in retrospect, is exactly what I needed. Todd’s email: manifestspellc[email protected] or website:https://manifestspellcast.wordpress.com
WhatsApp:+27793496985

March 20, 2022 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger Mary Grace Lee said...

Hello Viewers my name is Mary Grace, my Boyfriend broke up with me last week i was so sad I changed completely, I wasn't eating and i wasn't talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I was so depressed and stressed out, I was scared I ended up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and i just wanted us to last forever then i found a powerful spell caster Called DR JOHN SOCO, He solved so many relationship problem then DR JOHN SOCO told me he will come back to me between 24hrs after He cast spell on him, i never believed it, until my Boyfriend called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back and live happily together forever , Am so happy now that DR JOHN SOCO, helped me bring my boyfriend back to me. Thanks you so much DR JOHN SOCO, he can also help you Email him at, [email protected], Whatsapp/Call +447833853025..

April 2, 2022 at 6:15 PM  
Blogger Bryan Krauss said...

HOW I GOT MY WIFE BACK HOME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE ONLINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR. WALE
 I am very happy to recommend Dr. Wale to everyone that truly needs help to fix his or her broken relationship and marriage. I found Dr. Wale online. I was desperately  in need of help to bring my ex Wife back. She left me for another man. It all happened so fast and I had no say in the situation at all. She just left me after 3 years of our marriage without any explanation. I was very worried and could not eat till I went online and I found testimonies on Dr. Wale so I decided to contact Dr. Wale through his WhatsApp and I explain everything to him so he helps me cast a love spell to help us get back together. Shortly after he did the spell, my wife started texting and calling me again. She said that she was sorry and said that I was the most important person in her life and she knows that now. you can also contact him now for urgent help. WhatsApp/Text him: +1(978) 406-9575 or Email him:[email protected] or visit his website https://everlastingspellcaster.website2.me/

April 4, 2022 at 7:08 PM  
Blogger Mobil Funding Limited said...



I am here on this site to give thanks to Dr.Oria for the good work he did in getting my relationship back on track. Myself and my lover had some dispute which lead to our break up. But through the help of Dr.Oria i was able to get her back within 48 hours for this reason i will be dropping the contact information of Dr.Oria on this site for those that need his help to contact.Contact him now via WhatsApp messenger on +2347026588612 or email him on: droriah[email protected] or message him directly on his Facebook page
👇👇
https://www.facebook.com/Dr-Oria-106077158794129/

June 14, 2022 at 6:04 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

This is the most wonderful thing i have ever experienced. I visited a forum here on the internet on the 17 June 2018, and i saw marvelous testimonies on the forum about the good works Dr ibinoba. Am from the United States. I never believed it, because have never heard anything about such miracle before. No body would have been able to convince me about it not until Dr ibinoba did a marvelous work for me that restored my marriage of 4 years by getting back my divorced wife within 48 hours just as i read on the internet. I was truly shocked when my wife came home pleading for forgiveness to accept her back. Am really short of words to show my appreciation to Dr ibinoba. For he's a God sent to me and my entire family for divine restoration of marriage. Are you in need of any help whatsoever? Don't hesitate to get in touch with him now. He also specializes on the follow;
Divorce reconciliation
Marriage reconciliation
Business growth
Promotion in your place of work/office
Making banks to grants loans
Cures of diseases such as; Cancer, hiv, aids, zika virus E.T.C.
Getting your EX/lover back
Getting your wife/husband back
Getting your boyfriend/girlfriend back
Email: [email protected] WhatsApp: +2348085240869

July 8, 2022 at 3:47 AM  
Blogger الاقتار said...

تحميل العاب كمبيوتر يمكنك من خلال موقعنا تحميل احداث العاب الكمبيوتر و الاستمتاع بي اجمل الأوقات .

July 22, 2022 at 11:23 PM  

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