Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The paperback edition of AT LEAST IN THE CITY SOMEONE WOULD HEAR ME SCREAM launches June 1 and features a ton of new, never-before-seen material and photos of myself on book tour with David Sedaris, Sarah Palin, Tori Spelling and Laura Bush.

OK, that's all a load of crap, but the paperback does feature the same great raccoon cover and fabulous, rave quote from USA TODAY on the front. The pb is really an adorable, more compact, more affordable version of the hardcover, which is basically how I compare myself to Brad Pitt.

So, I urge you to pre-order today, or run out to your local bookstore on June 1 and order many copies for yourself, your family, your friends, and even those you despise.

If I don't sell books, I can't write books. And if I can't write books, you'll see me at Subway. And you really don't want that.

"Six-inch?" I'd ask. "I think you're flattering yourself, sir."

"You know, ma'am, I'm going to suggest the veggie, with no bread or veggies. You're welcome."

Speaking of covers, my publisher recently sent me the proposed jacket for my upcoming memoir, IT'S ALL RELATIVE: A MEMOIR OF TWO FAMILIES, THREE DOGS, 34 HOLIDAYS AND 50 BOXES OF WINE (February 2011/Harmony), and it is spectacularly clever, incredibly funny and memorable, and really captures the essence of the memoir perfectly. Can't wait to share it with you soon ... along with new video trailer that Gary and I shot for the book, which my publisher recently used to promote my memoir and their upcoming books at a big Random House sales conference. Suffice it to say that the video featured me and a big box of wine ... and the box of wine won. I was going to say, "a good box of wine," but we all know that's an oxymoron. I barely remember shooting the last part of the video ... and the out-takes are humiliatingly hilarious, esp. when I yell at a neighbor to stop jacking with the engine on his hoopty.

My web site will also undergo a major redesign with launch of next book ... actually, next TWO books. Also working hard on the humorous anthology I created and am editing, I'M NOT THE BIGGEST BITCH IN THIS RELATIONSHIP!, (summer/fall 2011 from NAL/Penguin) which will feature essays by some of America's favorite humorists about their dogs, and from which a portion of the proceeds will benefit The Humane Society of the United States. I've announced some of the contributors on my site, but will make a special announcement SOON about some mega-names who have recently signed on ... so, stay tuned.

That said, I plan to make this site more interactive ... for IT'S ALL RELATIVE, I'm hoping to create a page where readers and fans - in advance of the book - can post their hideous and hilarious (and sweet) holiday stories and photos. And I plan to create a similar page - in advance of BITCH! - where readers and fans can post photos of their rescue dogs who not only make them laugh but also changed their lives. CAN'T WAIT!

I also recently penned a piece for about pressure that prep school students face, and forgot to post the link, which follows:

And I continue to be a contributing columnist for Metrosource Magazine (check out my home page for link). I just wrote a piece for their annual "Pride" issue, which I'm -- pardon the awful pun -- very proud of.

Meanwhile, I'm cranking away on TWO new memoirs, and looking forward to the perfection that is summer along the coast of Michigan. And for all those who have emailed about Marge, she is doing amazingly well following her surgery, though is now on Pepcid AC every day, Cosequin, fish oil and REQUIRES Iams Chicken Gravy on her "bites," or she boycotts her food. In other words, she's old, but has a way better gig than me. And little, dipshit Mabel is fascinated with butterflies ... one flits by and she's off ... down the driveway ... into the woods ... OOOH! FUN, SHINY OBJECT! FOLLOW IT! FOLLOW IT! ... She's basically Gary in female dog form.

More soon ... enjoy your Memorial Day BBQ's, pool parties, beach bonfires, wine, family and friends. Box of wine chilling for me right now ... and it's only 9:30 in the morning ... but I think it might provide a nice counterbalance to my quad shot coffee.