Happy 2008! My apologies for the delay in posting a new blog, but Gary and I traveled to both sets of parents for the holidays, where we were held captive, forced to eat Snickerdoodles and red meat, and watch Fox News and C-SPAN. It was wonderful spending time with our families, and nice to roll out of bed and stay in PJs for much of the day (but that's pretty much what I do now, isn't it?).

Now back into a routine, and just finishing my third memoir, which is very "Sex & The City Goes Country." I will have super exciting news to share soon about the book, as well as future appearances.

OK ... it's primary day in Michigan. Michigan wreaked all sorts of havoc by moving its primary date up in the year and established cycle. It really is a good idea ... a big state with a diverse population and huge economic issues should have a bigger stake in this whole process. But, this year, due to this violation, most Democrats opted out of the primary. The dispute over the date of the vote led the national Democratic party to strip the state of its delegates to this summer's presidential nominating convention. Good times. As a result, Obama and Edwards kept their names off the ballot and Clinton is the only top contender listed. None of the top Democrats have campaigned in the state since the dispute arose.

So, it's been fun for a Democrat like me to watch the Republicans battle. My thoughts:

-McCain: He talks tough, his ads portray him as a fighter and a Washington "outsider." But he's dull as dishwater and old as hell. He's 72; he'd be close to 80 after his first term. I loved my grandfathers more than anything in this world. but I sure wouldn't wanting them running it. I mean, they got grumpy after "The Price Is Right" was over for the day, or if they ran out of "Chicken Noodle Soup." Doesn' this seem like McCain? His biggest plus: His second wife is smokin' hot ... and she must know a gay man or two, if she can dress like that. Which gives me hope.

-Romney: Former Michigan guy, whose dad was a big auto exec and much liked governor. Romney's ads say he's for life and family and children. Give me a break. Talk to me about the economy, and the housing industry, and the war; don't give me the same ol' crap about family values. Based solely on the fact that if every single Osmond voted in the election, he well could be the next President. Marie needs to do a QVC doll based on the guy.

-Huckabee: Oy vey. I call him Hucklebee, because -- and as a former Ozarkian I can say this -- he's a country dillrod. How can a guy lean farther right than Bush on social issues, without publicly burning a cross? Hucklebee is a former Southern Baptist preacher ... I mean, does this nation need a former Southern Baptist preacher leading it? He's for family values, too. Good for him. I firmly believe, given the chance, this guy would like to haul my gay ass off to a remote island, pour honey on my body, and let the ants have their way. (Which sounds hotter than I originally intended.) Love, love, love to see Chuck Norris standing behind Hucklebee during his speeches. I mean, that pretty much sums the guy up.

Where was Giuliani when I needed him?

I'm beginning to believe that the U.S. should no longer be solely a two-party country ... it was never intended for our elected officials to be polar opposites, with no common ground. I'm a social liberal with more of an economic conservative foundation. Why is it so hard to find someone like this? Why is it so unbelievably blasphemous for a candidate, or party, to embrace both? Why can't a Republican candidate openly show empathy for gay rights w/o hell fire raining down? It's about hope and common ground and simple old-fashioned humanity.

Bottom line: I just don't trust politicans who pander hatred as a way to drive voters to the polls. And that's still what I'm seeing here. I have been in a relationship longer than most marriages. We have jumped through legal hoops to make sure we are protected, that we have hospital visitation rights should one of us be injured while driving in another state. My partner will never see my Social Security. How is this fair?

That said, war, economy, education ... these are the issues that affect all of us every day. Deal with these, please. And then simply treat all of us with equal respect. Is that so hard?

My diatribe is over. The polls will close soon. And the candidates will move on to another state.
Welcome them. Challenge them. And vote.

Wade Rouse
www.waderouse.com
Author of:
America's Boy: A Memoir
Confessions of A Prep School Mommy Handler: A Memoir